Favorites Part 3...

September and October were fun months to get back into the classroom, work with new age groups, and build on friendships in Bogdanci. "Ah-ha" moments speckled these months- when I witnessed seamless integration at play, when I sensed more comfort in my small Macedonian city than anywhere else, when I longed for lunch with my host family to talk about my day in Macedonian.

I love the challenge of teaching 1st grade to 4th year high school students. Also, it means ALL the kids here know me and say, "Hi!" when I am walking through town. Here are some shots of my Rock-Star 7th graders doing a story sequencing activity (and my main counterpart/partner in crime, Nina). You can also see some of them introducing themselves at this link.

We celebrated the International Day Without Cars in my community with a walk to a nearby town in the same municipality as Bogdanci. I walked with the daughter of my NGO project partners, Angela, and another young woman, Emilija, who is ridiculously gung ho about K-Pop and the dance classes I teach. We picked the last figs from trees lining the road and talked about world travel aspirations. Sometimes the most fulfilling community connections are the most surprising! 

I joined the gym here in Bogdanci. I love afternoon lifting sessions with my gym friends. I bring my music and we rock out while we chat and get strong. It has been an EXTREMELY enlightening look into the positive aspirations of youth here. With few opportunities for work (with or without a college degree) and images of success in America and Europe everywhere they look, it is no wonder many become apathetic. But the positive, active energy of the gym is super. Also, I find lifting in the company of my male high school students has helped my classroom management. Never hurts to use your strength as leverage outside of the gym :)

Here is my Sunday Walk friend, Valentina. I met her at Oro (traditional Macedonian dancing). She comes to my yoga classes. As a professional, successful, single mom with a playful spirit, we have great conversations about life (in Macedonian). She, my counterpart Nina, and my Macedonian tutor, Sofche, help me decipher what it is about Bogdanci, about Macedonian, and about ME that shapes my experience here- INVALUABLE. I always look forward to our long Sunday hikes. 

After sifting through all the sacrifices for Peace Corps, I realize the deepest discovery of self is found after shedding previous notions of what or who you are. Notions are tricky, kind of dangerous things. Notions can diminish our enjoyment of what is NOW, what is waiting for our engagement and enjoyment. At first being present with positivity was pure survival; during the adjustment phase so many other questions bubbled under the surface. Luckily :) I understand enough about culture, work, language, and life to listen to the deeper pondering questions without such urgency, without a need for answers.

So what AM I learning from Macedonian culture? As trite as it sounds: be open to changes, let life flow, recognize most of your disappointment is from a mismatch between your own expectations and factors outside of your control, try everything once, never underestimate the work involved in processing food, enjoy wood-burning heat, vanity is WAY overrated, pay attention because most people illustrate with actions what they can't say, persistence is KEY, be patient with yourself and others, hold your ground when it really matters but not to assert your expertise or ego, connecting with other humans in deep ways is pretty simply and beautiful, just be YOU and don't worry about it. 

I want to close with three amazingly simple quotes from The Artist's Way. I finished the book months ago and still feel the ripple effect of creativity in my life- YES!

Play is the exultation of the possible. - Andre Gide

Don't fear mistakes- there are none. - Miles Davis

What we play is life. - Louis Armstrong

Favorites Part 2...

I started reading this great book, The Artist's Way, in June after my dear friend, Vanessa, visited the Balkans. I was at a tough spot in Peace Corps, questioning how I would ever convey the layers of my service to those I love. I remember the slow blossoming of Macedonian stories on our hikes. Overwhelmed by what felt like a series of sacrifices and still a sense of bewilderment about returning to site,  I found myself challenging a lot of her personal journey choices because I was jealous of the freedom I heard in her words about US life.

Paradoxically, Vanessa brought me this book that has helped me discover and anchor my creative flow again, AND our conversations invited me to reconsider why I made THIS Peace Corps choice currently in my self-discovery, world-discovery (whatever you call it). The following quote from Andre Gide in The Artist's Way reminds me, yet again, to trust blessed, timely serendipity.

"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time."

I actually reference these past sentiments because they starkly differ from the last two weeks of my service. With classes in session and a shared placement at both the Primary and High School, a project to activate youth in my community, singing in the choir, new friends from teaching yoga and Body Jam and the gym (теретана), I am flying. Walking down the street, smile after smile with warm "Здраво"s and "Hello"s, I bask in this experience for what it is at this moment.

I love going to Gijavoto, a village school about 3km from my site. I travel in a taxi that takes person's with disabilities to a daily center in city a bit farther, Gevgelia. It is humbling and a fun connection to ride with daily center people in the morning. 

Gijavoto is the picturesque village school, with flowers lining the entrance steps and a forest-lined basketball court tucked behind the school. My counterpart, Nina, and I teach one to three grades simultaneously in one tiny room. The kids are SWEET, appreciative, and earnest. I have four turkish students. By law they should study in their native language until 6th grade, however, only Macedonian teachers come to the school. Figuring out how to support these students in our English classes without any Macedonian base and practically no Turkish knowledge has been the kind of teaching challenge I anticipated and love tackling.

Here are some shots of my first graders... TOO CUTE! When they sing and look at me with those big eyes, oh boy! I added a couple of my second graders too :)

Macedonia production mixes inconvenient yet reliable technology with many hands in a social context. It is fascinating. Fall is the season for production. Every family is picking figs, prunes, grapes, peppers, and egg plants, preparing food for the winter. Below that is a photo of my counterparts father grinding the grapes in barrels where they ferment.

Here is a picture of my host dad and the Rakija (home-made brandy) contraption. 

I love working at the schools, however, I have another EXTREMELY fruitful and fulfilling work relationship with Dejan and Nadica of Polymat 13. They were my two first English Speaking friends in Bogdanci. As community leaders, diligently assessing needs and seeking funds for projects to meet them, these two are an oasis for interesting conversation. We have applied for youth development projects and are currently also planning monthly events- like World Food Day and International Women's Day- to engage the Bogdanci community. They listen to me and support me. Hearing about the NGO networks, trainings, and local ideas with which they are working is always inspiring. 

Many volunteers echo a similar sentiment about beginning their second and sometimes last year of service. "There is only a year left! There is so much I want to do!" You have a foundation which you can use for leverage to inch towards dreams you have for your friends, family, and community. Everyday new ideas flood my mind. I look at empty, abandoned properties and dream of projects that could validate an upgrade of the space for community benefit. I enamor the idea of extending. 

At the same time, I wonder about the impermanence of this experience, and that also invigorates my desire to BE PRESENT. I worked so hard to get to this point of connection and understanding. I want to make the most of it by ENJOYING it, not just trying to employ it. So, look for more favorites posts to come.

Favorites...

It is about ONE YEAR since I arrived in Macedonia. And while it feels like I exercised more resistance to my immediate environment and made more cultural and social missteps in the last year than ever before, I surrendered to this Peace Corps Macedonia service in September. It is starting to feel quite homey. (како дома)

As one of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle writes, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” I feel like my anthem for this month is to remember to live in AWE! Now that more makes sense to me, it is easy to grow weary about or emphasize what I may never adapt to, never understand, or never learn to appreciate. It is easy to focus on what I don't have time to attempt or finish. HOWEVER, amidst my on-going and new projects, I want to welcome what is peculiar and what evokes my curiosity in the present moment. 

AND SO, I give you, a month of images of what I LOVE here. (Not necessarily a top 10, 20, or 30, but certainly a tribute to what helps me live in the present here.) 

Baba Canka, my neighbor, is just one of MANY Baba's (grannies) in my life. Baba Siova is my Home Baba, my Baba of Baba's, however, this phenomena of older women inviting me to coffee, telling me their mini-life story, is just too precious. One day, a few fellow volunteers and I were in a park waiting for a bus. This Baba with the CUTEST giggle invited us over for coffee, a typical custom here. We couldn't go because we had to leave for the bus, but it is this level of curiosity, generosity, and hospitality that makes Babas a super score in Macedonia.

I really like the balance of working in the Primary and High School this year. While I love my high schoolers, who will be featured later in these entries, the Primary School students in my Creative English Camp this summer gave me lots of laughs and a new confidence to teach with the active methods I have employed for years.

Also, I introduced them to Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham! We did a Reader's Theater of this book, which was totally new to them, and it was a blast. Yes, the story is as funny to me as it was when I was four, and yes it was as funny to nine- and ten-year-olds as it is to four-year-olds.

New routines, new habits, a new outlook! I started hiking on Sunday mornings with a friend from Oro (traditional dance, also to be featured later) and Yoga. We speak in Macedonian about life, like therapy, like enlightenment. Afterwards I go to the market (на пазар) and meet up with a vendor who befriended the volunteer in my community before me. Again, we talk about life, cultural exchange, being a better person through choice and self-study. It is a rich Sunday morning routine. This is a picture of a hike to the windmills behind Bogdanci. Breathtaking and humbling. 

 My host mom is my rock here. She listens. She advises. She cooks, cleans, and cares. She is a tough cookie with a soft inside. Magdalena, my mom (мајка ми) laughs heartily.

Of course we need a discussion of GLOW and the amazing young, female leaders I am meeting as a mentor and counselor to GLOW Camp and Clubs. Seeing the Macedonian female youth plan and implement meetings, play and connect socially, and work to express themselves in English (maybe their second, third, or fourth language) gives me hope for the future of the world, even beyond Macedonia!

This anniversary marks a year of things I have given up in combination with things I have gained. Again, quoting Eckhart Tolle, “You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are,” I am reminded to BE and not to DO so much as a means of BEING. This life long lesson patiently nudges me, even when I kick and scream and beg for former examples of my self definition based on DOING. Yet, I see and feel the growth from the void of activities, and I welcome the blessing of open time to discover the essence underneath the "business," or better yet busy-ness.  

Shift in Thinking

I haven't felt like writing about my experience for the last three months. Arriving in Bogdanci, attempting to hit the ground running with classes, with community connections, with my family, I didn't see the attachment forming until an accident in my community illuminated how I really feel; I am starting to love it here!

It is hard to say that in a way when I look back on how I feared adapting. I remember in training, when I struggled with what felt like all I was loosing, a fellow PCV asked me if I could withstand what I saw I was loosing long enough to find what I could gain. These powerful words pierced my adjustment resistance. Honesty amidst your Peace Corps experience is essential, but your positivity and persistence in committing to the journey is also essential. She invited me to sit amidst the chaos, knowing that my service would draw me in. It didn't feel comfortable to think about loosing weekly swing and salsa dancing, the YMCA- my second home, or the freedom to challenge gender stereotypes through my strength and vivaciousness. But something in me knew I had to see more, give myself more time.

The first few months in my site blew me around- LITERALLY! Bogdanci is known as THE
WINDIEST part of Macedonia. Lined on the backside with high hills and cultivated plains below, the wind blows through strong enough to keep a runner using all her might in place.  Learning the names of about 250 students, plus coworkers, plus cultural norms blew me about as well.

Despite the wind, the mild climate and peaceful nature of Bogdanci permeates the people and sets the vibe. My high school director and fellow teachers are incredibly welcoming. You can hear and see that they are committed to their students and do the best they can.  Bogdanci is small, so your teachers see you grow up, like family.  And while the economic opportunities in Macedonia in general leave many small communities like Bogdanci wanting for jobs and lacking motivated students, I find small victories with my classes everyday.

I truly feel the students have embraced me. It took a couple months for me to open up to my humorous, relational teaching style. Introducing reading and questioning strategies, technology resources, and learning through play, I have been finding my place.  This in turn has helped me share who I am and learn who my students are.

Teaching Body Jam and Yoga, I have continued building connections with myself and others through activity. Teaching yoga and establishing a personal practice has sparked a steep learning curve. Luckily, the openness of January gave me the time I needed to practice language and cues.  I also joined the adult Oro group. Oro is Macedonia's beloved traditional dance. At practice we laugh, we learn, we celebrate the beauty of Macedonia's unique music. I hope to have a Swing Dance party by the end of February, recruiting my students and fellow Oro-ers.

One of my most surprising discoveries in Bogdanci was Polymath 13. A couple who started working with a national effort for rural development through the Green Agenda approach, Dejn and Naditza of Polymath 13 exemplify committing to your community. Leaving work in offices to join the Green Agenda project, their efforts through Polymath 13 have replaced an eroding roof in the kindergarten and an inefficient, out-dated water reservoir. Not only are they local, so they understand the community; strategic, so they plan short term and long term tasks; open-minded, so they see possibilities; they are also my extended family!

Personally, I can feel a shift from worrying about getting what I need here to looking deeper and broader about how to help Bogdanci.  I realize I have more to let go of and more to embrace to truly understand how to be an asset towards sustainable change. That is humbling. Matching that with the hospitality I've been shown thus far makes me smile in gratitude for what is to come.  

WHERE am I going?

1:00 on Thursday October, we Veles PCTs gathered in our language learning classroom. We waited through a short introduction, holding packets of information with our future, and then tore into placement locations.

My future two years in… Bogdanci?  I started sifting through pages of municipality, school, and family information. The Bogdanci municipality has worked on recent water and park city projects, and their city report depicted an environmental focus. I learned my high school had a previous PCV and wants to continue developing English lesson planning and conversation clubs.  I read about my future homestay.  I started imagining life with a 34-year old host mother, 50-year old host father, and 9-year old host brother.  Ten kilometers from the larger city of Gevgalia in the Southeast of Macedonia, Bogdanci is near the Greek border with a mild climate with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables.  I didn’t know how to react. It sounded great, kind of like my dream when I thought about Macedonia in the recruitment process. Still the unknown of it all was also a bit uncomfortable.

I remember knowing nothing about Veles before I arrived here, so after the unveiling, I waited out my initial shock.  After talking with the previous volunteer and other current volunteers in the surrounding cities, I know my experience will unfold when I am there and will be specific to me.  The Peace Corps often walks a fine line between general preparation and emphasizing that each volunteer has a very individual experience.

I will say my life in Veles feels like home now.  I am getting ideas for projects and using language in my community with strangers with greater and greater ease.  I am developing strong ties to fellow PCV’s and Macedonians here. All of this just before I visit Bogdanci, before I open up a whole new thinking realm related to my placement.  Ima Vreme they say, there is time.

 

I have included some shots of a trip to Skopje for the field day. We played Frisbee, ate snacks, and walked to the stretch along all the new government buildings and monuments.  I also photographed the school where we study Macedonian and have weekend trainings.  I wanted to share some visuals to help flesh out the stories. 

 

Weeks Four and Five- A Merry Life with Rodenden's

I am feeling more and more at home in Veles. Two birthdays (or Rodenden’s in Macedonian), a pita festival, and friendships through Body Jam classes have helped me anchor pride for my current city. My increasing language proficiency is also helping!

On October 1, the trainees in Veles came to my Ctavrevski household for some home-made American deliciousness, Macedonian drinks, games, and laughs.  My host mother, father, and brother worked with me in purchasing food, preparing food, and cleaning the apartment.  While I envisioned a mingling, snacking, drinking, slight dancing atmosphere, my host parents (rodenteli) set a table for 15! I roused the troops at the school and led them to my home. We sat, we ate, we drank, we played Uno with my rodenteli, and it was a lovely day of connecting home-life with my PCT community. 

The following Wednesday, we gathered in a similar way to celebrate another fellow volunteer’s birthday. These meals outside of the school and trainings helped make Veles home. In addition, hosting the other PCT communities in Veles for a weekend training - exploring the city’s national festival of PITA and seeing the other PCT communities observing Veles in awe- helped me see Veles with new eyes! (Pita is a pizza-like dish with cheese and meet and, in Veles, egg.) These shared experiences in birthdays and holidays deepen my comfort and sense of belonging here in Macedonia. Also, a fellow trainee and I, who often walk around the city together, made the mini trek across a footbridge and up the hill to a monument. A beautiful, structure embedded in a hill over-looking the city, this monument made for a mini-adventure and great conversation.

 

Also, I now have an established schedule for teaching Body Jam in Veles.  Six to twelve students gather every Monday and Wednesday at 6:00 for a sweaty, fun, dance workout.  Applying my dance teaching skills helps me feel purposeful, and dancing with others makes me feel connected.  My students are becoming closer friends and allies in my exploration of Macedonian culture.

Truly, my greatest teachers and support are my rodenteli.  They continue to communicate in significant, relevant ways that teach me language and that help me express myself in Macedonian.  We dissembled about 75% of their garden/farm at their nearby village, Otovitza, home. Working side- by- side on the weekends makes our daily interactions that much more meaningful. Last night, I went to Oro dance practice with them. (The Oro is a traditional Macedonian dance.) My rodenteli are fantastic Oro dancers. The music is in 7/8 time, and they are light and rhythmic in the various dance patterns. I enjoyed the experience, mainly because I got to see them so essentially in their element.

This week we learn our site placements for the two years of service. We also found out more about the language proficiency tools used to chart our language learning, a big key to integration.  Life is moving along. More to come!   

Week Two- Veles- Its an Ajvar Thing

Meet my host family in Veles, Macedonia- here is Boshe and Zaga at their home in Otavitza, a village outside of Veles. In addition to a cozy but tight apartment in the city, my host parents have a village home with an incredible garden where they demonstrate their agile craftiness in raising and preparing food. 

 

My first weekend, we visited the Sunday market- or Pazaar- and then were off to Otavitza to pick TIKVA- Macedonian for squash. Oh, did we pick tikvah- the pictures are only part of the evidence! Did I mention there is a beautiful lake nearby with hiking trails and lake-side cafes? A coffee before heading back to Veles was a sweet treat after a generous day of gardening.

 

The first week of classes, family meals, and adjusting to Veles would not have been complete without another weekend visit to our village home to make the traditional fall dish, Ajvar. Ajvar is a delicious roasted red pepper and eggplant spread that is typically served with feta cheese on bread for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Anyone who has tasted it will tell you it is decadently delicious, but I doubt they have had the pleasure of making it.

I was informed Friday night that we would be leaving Veles at 9:00am to head to Otavitza. We packed the car, picked up my host aunt up the hill, and were off with 30kilos of red peppers and 10kilos of eggplant.  First, we washed each vegetable by hand. Boshe, my host father, assembled the wood stove in the cellar where its attached piping directed the heat outside.

 Then one- by- one, we roasted and turned and roasted and turned the peppers and eggplants until their skin blackened, sacking the finished peppers in the process. After letting the peppers steam for an hour in plastic bags, we pealed and seeded almost all the roasted peppers and eggplants. After roasting and peeling, we ground the peppers and eggplants and cooked the newly concocted mixture in a large vat over the same stove.  (Did I mention I have a host brother my age? You can see his picture below; he is eyeing the roasting. He was the official veggie grinder!) Many families stir for three hours by hand, taking turns. Luckily, my father rigged a stirring machine. So, we watched for three hours, chatting over coffee, as the pot bubbled, as each added oil and salt here and there after tasting, as we waited for the Ajvar to finish.

Oh yes, when it was just right, we carried the pot upstairs to the kitchen, where the jars had been sterilizing in the oven. One by one, we filled the jars with spoons, hovering over the steaming pot of red goo.  After capping the final jar to be filled, my family gleefully crumbled feta around the base of the pot and tore generous hunks of bread off, passing to eager hands. There is a famous phrase in Thailand about a fear; the bear may fear the cold water, but I do not. After learning this in one of my culture trainings, its application became clear as my family and I attacked the pot, fearless of the mess ahead. Scooping, scraping, rescuing every remnant of ajar, with our bread- and- cheese- sponge, into our hungry, no longer patient mouths, I relished in the beauty of this tedious, bonding process. 

Beyond Ajvar, life in Veles is coming along. I have anchored some solid running routes with room to wiggle and explore. I am scheduled to teach dance next week on my Birthday and am enjoying walking around the town- though I am mostly traveling from home to school and back.  The language learning is DENSE, but finding more and more competent communication strategies is empowering.  Monday I have my first HubDay reunion and trainees with the full Mak 19 group in Skopje, Macedonia's capital, on Monday.  I am excited to get out and about, to see my friends, to hear about their experiences, and to learn more about my role and preparation for service in December.